Dirty Bertie 3 – Pants!

Alan MacDonald's Dirty Bertie - Pants is a very silly collection for 6 year olds, three short stories about a boy who never, ever thinks before he acts.

What happens

In the first, Bertie loses a race against his sworn enemy Know-All Nick. The forfeit? He has to come to school tomorrow in his pants.

Everybody knows by break time. Angela from next door is bringing her camera. His best friends flatly refuse to join in. Bertie even tries a pair of his dad's enormous Y-fronts before he spots a way out (and it's a sneaky one).

In the second story Bertie auditions for Oliver! at the local theatre. He forgets the words, sings anyway, and gets offered a role as the dog. He's thrilled! Ten weeks of rehearsals later, it's opening night and his dog's head is stuck on back to front.

The third is his birthday. Bertie's planned a pirate party, but Royston Rich has invited the whole class to a swimming party on the same day, wave machine and all. So Bertie ends up at Royston's with his dog Whiffer. And a pooper-scooper. You can probably guess where this is going!

These are short, fast and full of the kind of chaos children adore. Each story is split into little chapters, so they're great for reading one at bedtime or for a newly confident reader to tackle alone.

What makes Bertie work is that he always means well, sort of. He's never trying to be naughty. He just has an idea, it seems brilliant, and there's no one quick enough to stop him.

The humour is very much bogeys and bottoms. Bertie picks his nose, Whiffer's poo lands in a swimming pool and there's a whole story about pants. If that makes you wince, you'll know. If it makes your child snort with laughter, this is their book.

What to read next

Angela Nicely, the little girl next door who's in love with Bertie, has her own series from the same world. If they enjoy her popping up here, try the first Angela Nicely book, where it's Angela plotting to prove her head teacher wears a wig.