Dirty Bertie 19 – Toothy!

Toothy is the nineteenth Dirty Bertie book by Alan MacDonald, three silly stories for 6 year olds starring a boy who'd do just about anything to get out of a check-up.

What happens

Bertie does clean his teeth. Just not every day. Mostly he sloshes some water round his mouth, and the toothpaste is for drawing faces on the mirror. So when Mum says it's the dentist tomorrow, his legs go weak.

His first idea is a note from Miss Boot, his teacher. Mum spots that the handwriting is exactly like Bertie's (and that Miss Boot can't spell her own name).

Then, outside the surgery door, he overhears the dentist saying something that sounds very bad indeed. Bertie decides he has to escape! There's a cloakroom, a huge overcoat, a hat that keeps slipping over his eyes and a receptionist who thinks he's somebody called Mr Froggat.

The second story is Bertie's first time on a plane. He's bouncing in his seat. Dad, it turns out, hates flying. So what does Bertie want to know? What the emergency exits are for, and what happens if a wing drops off. Then he finds a big red button.

In the third it's boiling hot in class and an ice-cream van has parked just up the road from the school gates. Bertie finds a gap under the fence. Getting out turns out to be the easy part.

You're right inside Bertie's head for all of it. He talks himself into every plan, and afterwards it's never, ever his fault. (He really does believe that.)

Worth knowing before you hand it over

The dentist story plays Bertie's fear for laughs. He has a nightmare where the dentist has fangs, and for a while he's sure the man is a murderer. A pet being put to sleep comes up too (it's talked about, not shown).

Without giving too much away, the check-up is nothing like he dreads. So for a child who's a bit wobbly about the dentist, watching Bertie get it SO wrong could even help. If your reader has just lost a pet, you might want to read that one with them.

What to read next

For more of Bertie being completely certain and completely wrong, try the one called Fangs. It's Book Week, he's gone to school as Count Dracula, and he becomes convinced the caretaker is a real vampire.