Dirty Bertie 11 – Fetch!

Alan MacDonald's Dirty Bertie - Fetch is three funny stories for 6 year olds, and in the first one Bertie's dog Whiffer gets his nose put badly out of joint.

What happens

A parcel arrives from rich Uncle Ed in America. Inside is a Robodog! Tiny sits, begs, dances and fetches the post, and he never leaves hairs on the sofa. The whole family is smitten.

Whiffer is not. He watches through the window while everyone claps for the new dog, and he decides to show that flat-faced mutt who's boss. It does not go well for the washing line.

Whiffer's side of it is the best part. You get his thoughts too (mostly about sausages, sticks and unfairness), and there's something very sweet about a scruffy real dog trying so hard to be noticed.

In the second story Gran gets an invitation to a garden party at the palace, and she chooses Bertie as her guest. Everyone panics about his manners. He practises saying "Your Majesty" and it comes out as "Your Magicsty". Then, at the party, a lady in a blue hat asks what he really thinks of it all, and he tells her honestly. It's dead boring!

Who could she be? Children will probably work it out long before Bertie does, which is half the fun.

The last story is a wedding. Bertie is a pageboy, in a kilt that nearly reaches his ankles, and he's warned not to touch anything. So of course he tries the wedding ring on his thumb in the car on the way to the church. Guess what happens?

Each story is short, split into little chapters and packed with the sort of disasters that make children howl. Bertie's never mean. He just can't resist an idea, and the grown-ups are never quite fast enough.

If your reader loves a boy who's always one step from trouble, and a dog who's even worse, these are brilliant fun to read aloud (the corgis alone are worth it).

What to read next

For more of Bertie and Whiffer, and a pink party Bertie would do anything to get out of, the Worms stories are a good place to head.