Something Wickedly Weird 2 – The Ice Pirates

Chris Mould's The Ice Pirates is a ghostly pirate adventure for 8 year olds about a boy whose great-uncle comes back from the dead without his head.

What happens

Stanley Buggles is returning to Candlestick Hall for the winter. The old house on the island of Crampton Rock was left to him by his Great-uncle Bart, an admiral with a pirate past. After a very eventful summer, Stanley is hoping for a quiet stay this time (and plenty of Mrs Carelli's fresh bread).

He doesn't get one. The stuffed pike in the hallway, who only talks when he feels like it, warns Stanley that he's in grave danger. The Stormbringers are coming.

Then, at three in the morning, a headless figure in naval uniform tips Stanley out of bed. It's Great-uncle Bart. He can't speak, obviously, so he writes on the frosty window instead. I need my head.

That sets the tone for the whole thing. It's creepy and daft at exactly the same time. Getting the head back involves carrying the pike up to the lake on the moor so he can dive for it. And the walk home ends with boy, fish and head all singing together.

Meanwhile two frozen pirates have cracked out of the ice far to the north and are marching south through a blizzard. They want the silver Ibis hidden inside the pike. They're also very keen to give Stanley a lift in their carriage.

Stanley is a lovely hero. He's polite, a bit clumsy and braver than he thinks. Daisy from the lighthouse makes a great partner in crime. Mrs Carelli, who clips him round the head and threatens to chuck the "old trout" in the sea, is very funny.

Worth knowing before you hand it over

There's plenty of death in the background, all played for spooky fun. Great-uncle Bart lost his head to a werewolf before this story starts, and Stanley carries it home under his coat. There's a skeleton in a cage on the hill, and one pirate has a shotgun strapped to his back. Stanley also mutters "damn" at one point.

If your reader loves a bit of gruesome, they'll lap it up. A child who's bothered by skeletons and ghosts at bedtime might want to wait a while.

This is the second Something Wickedly Weird book, and it fills in the first as it goes along, so your reader won't feel lost.

What to read next

For another ghostly pirate who's lost his head, Chris Mould also wrote The Great Cheese Robbery. A crew of tiny pirates lives in a ship in a bottle, and one of the first yarns they tell each other is about Blackbeard's ghost hunting for his!