Return of the Hundred-Mile-an-Hour Dog

Return of the Hundred-Mile-an-Hour Dog is Jeremy Strong at his daftest, a story for 8 year olds narrated by a boy whose dog simply cannot be stopped.

What happens

Trevor is that boy. He reckons Streaker wasn't bred so much as built in a Ferrari factory. At full speed her legs go to a blur and her ears stream out behind her.

She does not know what her name means. She has never understood "Sit" or "Stay" or "Come back". What she can do is Run, Gallop, Full Charge Ahead, Fast Reverse, Leaping Like Mad and, when the mood takes her, Madder than Mad.

She does now come when Trevor shouts "Walkies!", and there's a reason for that. An earlier attempt to exercise her indoors on a converted exercise bike fired her across the room and wedged her backside in the washing machine. The fire brigade had to get her out. She has taken no chances since.

Then Trevor's friend Tina watches a television programme about a sheepdog penning a hundred sheep and decides Streaker could do that.

Trevor points out that a sheepdog needs to be intelligent, obedient and fast, and that his dog manages one of the three. Then he suggests they teach her to herd the abandoned shopping trolleys instead, and Tina goes home.

What she actually wants is for the two of them to enter the dog show that's coming up. She's got her plan sorted. Trevor has a dog who spends her walks bowling over other dog walkers like skittles, and you can tell exactly where she is from the shouting.

He's very funny about himself, and that is what carries the whole thing. He says he's about as organised as the inside of a Christmas pudding. He explains at length that Tina is not his girlfriend, thank you, and then explains it again in case you missed it.

He also completely loses the power of speech when a new girl turns up in the field with a pedigree dog. He manages three words before Streaker flattens the pair of them face down in the mud.

Before you start, a heads up. This isn't the first Streaker book, and it opens mid-story. There's a bet with the local bully that the book refers back to and Trevor promises to explain later. He does explain it, and everything else, as he goes. Your reader will be fine starting here, but they'll enjoy it more if they're not.

Nothing in it is remotely upsetting. It's a dog doing damage to furniture and dignity, and a boy who knows perfectly well how ridiculous his life is.

What to read next

If your house enjoyed this much chaos, there's more of it in Wild Thing Gets a Dog. That one has another sensible narrator, a little sister who cooks the family's tuna into a plastic stew, and a dog who makes absolutely everything worse.