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R. McGeddon's Disaster Diaries: ALIENS is a daft, chatty comedy for 9 year olds about three friends who spot a flying saucer at a very boring birthday party.
Arty's idea of a perfect birthday is a five-hour code-breaking treasure hunt, followed by a party at the town observatory. Sam and Emmie would rather just eat the cake. But when Arty peers through the giant telescope near midnight, there's a UFO heading straight for the town of Sitting Duck.
The aliens turn out to be tiny, blue and honestly quite cute. Their very first word on Earth is "buttocks". Then they zap the mayor into a shower of sparkles and announce that the planet now belongs to them.
This isn't the gang's first disaster. Sitting Duck has only just recovered from a zombie outbreak, which everyone mentions a lot, so there's clearly an earlier book. You don't need it to enjoy this one.
The real star is the narrator. He keeps butting in to argue with you, gets distracted by a butterfly mid-scene and admits he's a coward. Between chapters there are silly lists too, like ten tips for avoiding a teacher's question (number three is turn invisible).
The three friends are great together. Arty is the brainbox, Sam is the ideas man and Emmie, who lives with a truly terrible Great Aunt Doris, is rumoured to have punched a tiger (in the ribs, apparently).
A heads-up on the jokes. People get zapped into sparkles quite a lot, a girl grumbles that she once ate an old lady while she was a zombie, and the mayor has very clearly had a drink or two before his welcome speech. It's all cartoon silliness, but a sensitive reader might want to know what's coming.
It's an American edition too, so it's moms and math class. There's also a biology teacher called the Dribbler, who spits so much that the front row wear raincoats.
More aliens who talk nonsense? Jon Scieszka's Spaceheadz is a great next step. Michael K's first day at a new school goes downhill fast when the two other new kids tell him they're from another planet and eat his pencil.
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