Madame Doubtfire

Madame Doubtfire by Anne Fine is a very funny and very sharp story for 9 year olds about three children stuck between two parents who can't be in the same room.

What happens

It opens with an envelope. The three of them are taking a letter from their mum up the stairs to their dad, and nobody wants to be the one holding it when the door opens.

Christopher loses. He stuffs it down the front of four-year-old Natalie's pinafore, behind the felt ducklings. She's in tears before Dad has even said hello.

Dad calls the letter another missive from The Poisoned Pen. Then he works through a cheerful list of illnesses he'd quite like his ex-wife to catch.

Lydia, who is the oldest and by some distance the most sensible person in the house, tells him to pack it in.

They've only got Tuesday tea and every other weekend, she points out. It would be nice if Natty didn't have to spend it listening to that.

You're on the children's side all the way through, and that's what makes it so good. They have a whole system for surviving their parents. They steam open Mum's letters, read them, reseal them in a fresh envelope, and get Natalie to lick the flap so they're all equally guilty.

It's properly funny too. The stuffed bread comes out of the tin and collapses. The row about the coats goes exactly where everyone knew it would go. Dad is out of work and the kitchen table is buried under job applications.

But Dad also does something odd when he gets going. He lifts an imaginary rifle off an imaginary rack and takes aim. Later he draws an imaginary knife across the tea cosy's throat, grinning.

Lydia tells Natty he's just being silly and she'll have to learn to ignore him. Dad agrees with her, on his knees, promising to do better. He won't.

And then the actual plot starts, which is glorious. Mum puts out an advert for someone to clean the house and look after the children while she's at work. Dad, an actor with no job, turns up for the interview in a frock and a wig.

Now the bit you'll want to think about. The parents are horrible about each other, constantly, in front of the children, and the small one keeps crying. Dad's mimed rifle and knife are aimed at the idea of his ex-wife.

If your child has a divorce or a bad split anywhere near them, that may land harder than you want it to. If they simply enjoy being the sensible one in a family of idiots, Lydia is going to feel like a friend.

What to read next

If this one goes down well, Crummy Mummy and Me is in the library too. Minna has decided her mum isn't fit to be a parent, and spends most mornings shouting up the stairs at her to find her shoes.