Dirty Bertie 7 – Bogeys!

Dirty Bertie Bogeys! by Alan MacDonald is three funny stories for 6 year olds about a boy with one very difficult promise to keep.

What happens

In the first, Bertie's name comes out of the biscuit tin and he's picked to welcome the Mayoress to school in front of the whole place, with a photographer from the local paper watching. His family are not delighted. His sister Suzy points out that he burps. His dad worries about talking with his mouth full. His mum begs him, please, please, not to pick his nose.

So Bertie promises. Well, he promises they won't catch him at it, which he privately considers a different thing altogether.

What follows is Bertie hunting for one place in the entire world where nobody can see him. His bedroom, no. The top secret hideout behind the garden shed, no. He ends up quite relieved when bedtime comes round.

This is proper gross-out comedy and it's very funny with it. Bertie and his friend Darren have invented Bogey Golf. Bertie is certain the Queen has a good clear out when nobody's about. Your reader will be thrilled and you will be asked to read it aloud, which is its own reward.

Miss Boot is the other joy. She thunders. She slams her fist down on the desk. She needs a quiet lie down after the draw goes the wrong way. Any child who has met a teacher with a Voice will recognise her on sight.

The other two stories are a magic trick that gets away from him and a school outing involving a museum potty, so you can see the general direction of travel.

Each story is short and the sentences are simple, which makes this a good bridge for a reader who can manage a chapter but isn't ready for a whole novel.

What to read next

If you've got a reader who thinks bodily functions are the highest form of comedy, you've found your man. There are plenty more of these, and there's another three stories in Worms! That one starts with Bertie invited to a party where everybody has to wear pink, a problem he solves by going as an earthworm.