Dirty Bertie 2 – Fleas!

Alan MacDonald's Dirty Bertie - Fleas is three short, messy stories for 6 year olds about a boy whose plans always make perfect sense to him.

What happens

In the first, Bertie can't stop scratching and Mum spots the little red bites. Whiffer the dog is hopping with fleas! Dad would rather not take him to the vet, so he pays Bertie five pounds to do it (and Gran gets roped in too).

Whiffer won't budge once he hears the word vets. So Bertie straps on his roller blades and trails a string of Gran's sausages behind him in her shopping trolley. What could possibly go wrong? Quite a lot, as it turns out, starting with every dog in the neighbourhood.

He's also quietly kept a few fleas in a matchbox. Bertie has plans for a flea circus.

In the second, Bertie's friend Darren dares him to lock their nervous supply teacher, Mr Weakly, in the store cupboard. Bertie does it. Then he loses the key. Then the school inspector walks in, and Bertie is still wearing Mr Weakly's glasses and jacket.

In the third, a real fire engine visits school and Bertie is desperate to have a go on the hose. When Know-All Nick comes running to say the school is on fire, Bertie leaps into action. You can probably guess it isn't quite what it looks like.

It's all very British and very funny. Mum and Dad sigh a lot. Gran is a good sport. The grown-ups spend the whole book one step behind Bertie, and the stories are quick enough to read one at bedtime.

Each one ends on a proper laugh too. Bertie never quite wins, but he never really loses either, and he usually gets the last word.

Is he a good role model? Absolutely not! But if your reader loves a character who is naughtier than they'd ever dare to be, Bertie is brilliant company.

What to read next

If they want more, Dirty Bertie - Worms has Bertie trying every excuse he can think of to get out of a pink party next door.