Captain Awesome vs the Sinister Substitute Teacher

Captain Awesome vs the Sinister Substitute Teacher by Stan Kirby is a daft superhero story for 5 year olds about three children who are certain their teacher has been kidnapped.

What happens

Eugene and his friends Charlie and Sally are secretly the Sunnyview Superhero Squad. In costume they are Captain Awesome, Nacho Cheese Man and Supersonic Sal.

Their weekend of crime fighting is actually very sweet. They shut a neighbour's gate so her dogs would not get out. They put the lids back on a man's bins to keep them safe from Boom-Boom Raccoon.

Nacho Cheese Man keeps the record of all this in his cheesebook, a cheese coloured notebook with real mould spots on it.

Then Eugene's baby sister escapes the house mid nappy change. The squad has to deal with Queen Stinkypants and her Fog of Stinkydoom while Eugene's dad runs after her shouting for backup.

That is the joke of the whole thing. Every ordinary bit of life gets an enormous name, and the grown ups carry on around it.

Then it is Monday, and Ms Beasley is not in the classroom. The bell goes and she still is not there. A silhouette appears in the doorway instead.

You can guess where Eugene's brain takes that.

There is comic book noise all over the page. MI-TEE, CHEESY YO, POOT-POOT, mostly in capitals, which makes it brilliant to read out loud and easy for a new reader to join in with.

The thing to know is the name calling. Meredith Mooney greets them as Puke-Gene and the Super-Pukies, and Eugene privately thinks she looks like an evil pink troll doll. It is playground insult for insult rather than anything nasty. Still, if your child repeats everything they read, you will be hearing Puke-Gene for a fortnight.

Toilet humour too. A good chunk of the first chapter treats a baby's nappy as a chemical weapon.

What to read next

If that all goes down well, Superdad's Day Off is another one to try. Stanley is a completely normal boy whose dad happens to be the greatest superhero on the planet, and Dad's one day off a week does not stay restful for long.