Why I Quit Zombie School

R. L. Stine's Why I Quit Zombie School is a gross and funny horror story for 8 year olds about a boy who realises his new boarding school might be full of the undead.

What happens

Matt Krinsky is twelve and loves anything scary. Masks, skulls, monster posters, the lot. So he's the first to notice when things at Romero Academy look wrong.

The school sits in deep shadow on a sunny day. Three boys by the bins appear to be eating a dead squirrel. Everyone walks in slow motion. The dining hall serves raw meat and a thick red drink. And when a huge boy called Wayne falls all the way down the stairs, his own twin just shrugs.

Nobody believes Matt. His parents think he's watched too many horror films. His big sister Jamie laughs at him down the phone. So what do you do when your worst nightmare seems to be coming true and nobody will listen?

Matt tells the story himself, and his voice is what makes it work. He's jokey, a bit gloomy, and forever doubting his own eyes. It's the kind of scary where you're laughing one minute and wincing the next.

The chapters are short and love a cliffhanger. Plenty of them end on a shock, which makes it very hard to stop at bedtime.

There's a funny thread about fitting in, too. Matt is the new boy, he's brilliant at football, and the team wants him badly. Being wanted has never felt quite so worrying.

Fair warning, though. The gross-out is turned up high. Heads crack on steps with a horrible sound, there's a lot of vomit, and pupils jump off a balcony for fun and hit the floor. None of it is meant seriously (that's rather the point of the school), but it's vivid.

A child who worries about injuries, or takes things very literally, might find it too much. If your reader loves being scared and giggling at the same time, it's a winner.

What to read next

If they want more R. L. Stine, Why I'm Afraid of Bees is narrated by another twelve-year-old with a long list of fears, starting with the bees his neighbour keeps next door.