Viking at School

Jeremy Strong's Viking at School is a very silly story for 8 year olds about a real tenth century Viking who gets sent in to school.

What happens

Sigurd sailed to England a thousand years ago, got separated from his raiding party and came through a Time-mist into our century. Now he is married to Mrs Tibblethwaite and the two of them wrestle for a living.

At least they did. The book opens with a tag wrestling match that turns into a full scale riot. Three elderly ladies from Sigurd's fan club join in with their handbags. The fire brigade have to hose everybody down.

So Siggy and Tibby are banned from wrestling for life. No job, no money, and nowhere to go except back to The Viking Hotel and the Ellis family.

Mr Ellis is not thrilled. Ten minutes in, Sigurd has chopped his new forsythia bush in half and chased him five times round the garden with a sword called Nosepicker.

Then he is asked to paint the doors, the windows and the railings. He paints the windows. All of the glass. The guests upstairs think it is still night time and will not come down for breakfast.

That is what gets him sent to school. Tim thinks a real Viking would be brilliant to bring in (much better than the rabbit that did a poo on James's desk), and his parents mostly want the Viking out of the hotel.

Most of the fun is in the way Sigurd talks. He gets one word wrong and the whole meaning tips over. He kidnaps three old ladies and announces that now he has three sleeves. He promises to scare the panties off his enemies. He calls the head teacher Mrs Crocodile, then kisses her on both cheeks in front of the entire school and tells everybody to try it.

Your reader is a step ahead of him every single time. That is the joke, and it keeps working.

Do know that the wrestling and the sword waving are played entirely for laughs. Nobody is hurt in a way that lasts, although a referee is knocked out by a flying handbag and Mr Ellis keeps reaching for a hip flask of brandy every time the Viking does something new. If a running gag about a grown up needing a drink is not for your house, this one has one.

What to read next

For a child who wants to know how Siggy got to Flotby at all, There's a Viking in My Bed opens on the longship in the fog, with the crew wishing they had picked a better lookout.