The Killer Cat’s Christmas

Anne Fine's The Killer Cat's Christmas is a festive disaster of a story for 8 year olds, told by a cat who's convinced Christmas was never made for cats.

What happens

Think about it from Tuffy's side. There's a tree he isn't allowed to climb. There are dangly decorations he mustn't touch and shiny presents he has to keep his paws off. And this year there are visitors too.

When we meet him, Tuffy's locked in the garage in disgrace. So how did he end up there? He's going to tell you the whole story (and none of it was his fault, obviously).

Ellie's Aunt Ann and Uncle Brian arrive with the twins, Lucilla and Lancelot. Within an hour Tuffy has clawed a hole in a bouncy hopper, sent the shampoo bottles flying and ruined Ellie's mum's best silver party frock. Ellie's dad starts muttering about catteries.

So the three children promise to keep Tuffy out of trouble. Their big idea? A Christmas show of nursery rhymes about cats, with Tuffy as the star. Ding Dong Bell. Three Little Kittens. And the soppy one he hates most of all.

You can probably guess how well that goes. There's a cardboard well, a spider and a boy who sings with his mouth VERY wide open. Tuffy's tail sweeps every label off the presents, which causes chaos on Christmas morning. And the grand finale involves a bowl of cake icing and the fairy on top of the tree.

Tuffy's voice is what makes it. He's rude about everyone, from the twins to the "great fat lump" of a fairy Ellie made at nursery school. He's also, just occasionally, a bit soft about Ellie, though he'd never admit it. Your reader gets to be in on the joke the whole way through.

Ellie's dad does keep making dark threats about the vet (Ellie clamps her hands over Tuffy's ears before he can finish). Someone also says one mild swear word when the tree comes down. It's all played for laughs, and everyone's fine by the end.

What to read next

If they enjoy watching a celebration go wrong, The Killer Cat's Birthday Bash is another one. Tuffy's birthday falls on Halloween, and he's not happy that his family seem far more excited about their party than about him.