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Jon Scieszka's Spaceheadz 3 is a completely bonkers alien comedy for 9 year olds, and it opens with two aliens dressed as elves queuing up to meet Santa.
Some background first. Michael K. is a fifth grader in Brooklyn. Two kids in his class, Bob and Jennifer, are actually aliens, and their leader, Major Fluffy, is a squeaking hamster. They need 3.14 million and one kids to sign up as Spaceheadz, or the Earth gets switched off.
They're nearly there. Only a hundred to go! So naturally the Spaceheadz decide to ask Santa for the rest.
The trouble is, this Santa is Agent Umber of the Anti-Alien Agency, working undercover in a doughnut shop. He's the most hopeless secret agent you'll ever meet. His phone is shaped like a pickle and he can never find the right button.
What follows is gloriously gross. A small boy stuffed with doughnuts and fizzy cola gets bounced on Santa's knee once too often, and the result goes everywhere (including the ceiling fan). Umber ends up sprinting down the street in his long underwear, chased by a crowd of parents and toddlers who think it's a game.
Meanwhile Michael K.'s mum and dad each have a top-secret work project they're hiding from the other. The moment they find out about each other is very funny.
It's the sort of book where every character talks slightly wrong. The aliens have learned English from adverts, so they say things like "Great whole-grain jingle bells!" and call good ideas "extra-crunchy". Major Fluffy just squeaks, and somebody has to translate. It jumps between Michael K., the agents and his parents so fast it feels like flicking channels.
Hitting the magic number turns out to be the start of the trouble, not the end. I won't say more!
There's nothing to worry about beyond the vomit and some name-calling ("loser", "stupid Santa"). If your reader loves fast, daft silliness with a bit of spy thriller mixed in, they'll have a ball.
This is the third book, and it carries straight on from the first two, so it's worth starting at the beginning. Try the first Spaceheadz book, where Michael K. meets Bob and Jennifer on his very first day at a new school and one of them eats his pencil.
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