Paddington on Top

Paddington on Top by Michael Bond is a laugh-out-loud collection for 7 year olds that starts with a school inspector knocking at Number thirty-two Windsor Gardens.

What happens

He has no record of Paddington ever going to school. Not once! Aunt Lucy taught him all she knew in Darkest Peru, but that doesn't count. So he's due at St Luke's first thing the next morning.

This tenth Paddington book gets going with his first day at school, and it's a cracker. A roll sounds like a lovely way to start the morning. The three Rs make no sense at all (arithmetic begins with an A, as he very helpfully points out to the teacher).

Mr Eustace isn't amused. He's a bellowing sort of teacher, and he sends Paddington out to buy a herring for the biology lesson. Paddington comes back with fish fingers on special offer instead.

Then a note turns up pinned to his shopping basket. A well-wisher says anyone who keeps a basket that clean could earn two hundred pounds a week! Paddington would very much like to buy Mr Gruber some cocoa, so he hands over twenty-five pounds of his savings for a vacuum cleaner.

His first customer is Mr Curry, who has a grate full of soot. Paddington gives him the full treatment, with some broken eggs and custard tarts stirred in. And then he asks where the socket is. Can you picture Mr Curry's face?

The salesman is a crook, of course. Mr Gruber has already heard about the dud cleaners in the market, and he's popped round to make sure Paddington's all right. It's all played for laughs, but it's a gentle way into a chat about strangers with very good offers.

After that Mr Gruber takes him to see the Law Courts. A mix-up over the name Brown lands Paddington in the witness box, where his marmalade sandwich becomes Exhibit A.

Nearly all the fun is in the words. Rolls, briefs and being asked to swear all mean something different to a bear, and he's polite and serious about every one of them. Your reader will probably spot each muddle coming a moment before the poor grown-ups do.

What to read next

The whole school business starts because nobody ever reported Paddington's arrival. If your reader wasn't there for that, A Bear Called Paddington begins at the station, where the Browns find him sitting on his suitcase near the Lost Property Office.