Mr Gum and the Dancing Bear

Andy Stanton's Mr Gum and the Dancing Bear is a completely bonkers book for 7 year olds about a very sad bear and the girl who decides to do something about him.

What happens

Padlock walks into the town of Lamonic Bibber one autumn morning. Everyone comes out to look. He sits down on a bench in the town square, puts his face in his paws and starts to cry.

And not one of them helps him. They all say they like bears. They give money to Save The Bears. They just stand there.

Then a nine year old called Polly walks up, says good morning, and offers him the crackers out of her skirt pocket. Some of them are a bit broken. She apologises for that.

That's the friendship sorted in half a page, and it's rather lovely.

The narrator is the reason to read this. He is completely off his head. Padlock is as tall as two men, he tells us, or about forty hamsters if you could manage to glue them on top of each other to prove it.

A sobbing bear, he says, is sadder than a little white onion being bullied by a gang of tough courgettes in leather jackets.

He also makes things up and then owns up. The crowd chants "Eat her! Eat her!" at Polly. Not really, he adds, but it would have been funny if they had.

Then there's Alan Taylor, the headmaster Polly goes to for advice. He is 15.24 centimetres tall, made of gingerbread, and his muscles are electric. He owns five books and one of them is called ZEBRAS.

He works out that Padlock is homesick and belongs back in the Kingdom of the Beasts. So that's the mission.

Meanwhile Mr Gum and Billy William the Third are in a filthy butcher's shop having a competition to see who can tell the most lies in a minute. Mr Gum wins by cheating, then eats the stopwatch so nobody can check.

Here's what to weigh up. They are cruel to that bear and it starts around chapter four. Mr Gum kicks him with a hobnail boot. Billy tears out a handful of his fur and laughs. Before any of that, Padlock is already thin and crying and his coat is falling out on the ground.

The book is completely on Padlock's side and Polly is trying to get him home, so there's no doubt about who you're rooting for. Even so, a child who can't bear an animal being hurt will feel those pages. A child who thinks villains should be properly villainous will be fine.

It reads aloud beautifully. There are made up words everywhere and Polly talks in her own way, which is huge fun out loud and a bit slower going alone.

What to read next

For two more revolting grown-ups who treat animals appallingly, there's The Twits. Mr Twit hasn't washed his beard in years and Mrs Twit carries a walking stick mainly so she can hit things with it.