Mr Gum and the Cherry Tree

Mr Gum and the Cherry Tree by Andy Stanton is proper nonsense for 7 year olds, set in a town where the narrator is every bit as daft as the people living in it.

What happens

It opens on the first day of Spring, "or as it is called in France, Le Boing". That is the level, and it does not let up for a second.

In the town of Lamonic Bibber everyone has plans. Jonathan Ripples is going to eat eight hot cross buns. Martin Launderette, who runs the launderette, is going to spit on all eight of them. A little girl called Peter is going to read her favourite book.

Then Old Granny comes tearing up the high street shouting that the Old Ways are back. She gets partway through her big announcement, falls asleep, wakes up, gazes at everyone mysteriously and falls asleep again.

Off they all go after her, chanting, into a forest where ancient spirits are said to live.

Our heroes follow. Polly is nine and has everything she needs in life, which is a face, a couple of elbows and a pocket full of felt-tip pens. Friday O'Leary knows the secrets of time and space and shouts "THE TRUTH IS A LEMON MERINGUE!" whenever the mood takes him.

Behind them comes a whole school class, led by their headmaster Alan Taylor, who is made of gingerbread and very small indeed. He has just taught the children that the creature in front of them is called an ant, and that a guess of rhino was very close.

What your reader is getting is invented words on nearly every line. Smagnificent. Give-me-morious. Woodpeckers pecking while the wouldn'tpeckers don't. The narrator also talks straight at them and is cheerfully rude about it.

It is short, silly and built for reading out loud. Honestly, it is twice as funny out loud, so it's a good one for a bedtime even if your reader can manage it alone.

One small thing to flag. Old Granny keeps a bottle of sherry in her handbag. She swigs from it while shouting that she never touches the stuff, and the other grown ups keep saying she is drunk. It's a handful of lines and it is played as a joke, but you might want to know it's there.

Mr Gum himself doesn't turn up in the opening chapters at all. The book is in no hurry and is perfectly happy telling you about hot cross buns instead.

If your reader likes a joke to be silly rather than clever, this will suit them down to the ground. If they like a story to behave itself, it will drive them round the bend.

What to read next

The Twits is the obvious one after this. Another very short book with a narrator who is rude to you on purpose, and a man who hasn't washed his beard in years, so you get told exactly which old breakfasts are still in it.