I Am Not a Loser

Jim Smith's I Am Not a Loser is a very silly school story for 7 year olds about a boy called Barry Loser who would quite like everyone to stop mentioning it.

What happens

Barry has never minded his name, because he's always been so "keel". (That's his word for cool, borrowed from his favourite TV show, Future Ratboy.) Then Darren Darrenofski joins the school. He slurps fizzy Fronkle, burps it in Barry's ear and sings "Barry Loser's a Loser" to the tune of Happy Birthday.

So Barry, who is a child genius (he says so himself), comes up with plans to be cool again. A bright yellow knitted nose made by Granny Harumpadunk. His grandad's old lamp-post stilts. A giant robot costume so convincing that the teacher drives off in a panic. Every plan goes wrong in a slightly different way.

It's Barry telling the story, and his voice is the whole joy of it. He makes up words ("annoyamazingly"). He finishes sentences with "in the whole wide world amen". His mum calls him Snookyflumps and he is DESPERATE nobody at school finds out. There's even Invisigrandad, a pile of Grandad's old clothes stuffed with newspaper that Barry made to keep Granny company in his chair.

This is proper giggle-out-loud stuff for a young reader who likes things a bit rude. Expect burps, bogies, blowoffs and one very unfortunate wee.

A small heads-up. Barry and his best friend Bunky think it's hilarious to annoy a neighbour, knocking on her door and running off, and making prank phone calls. It's played for laughs, and the jokes about Darren's size are fairly blunt. You might want a quick word about why that's not so funny for the person on the receiving end.

Underneath the silliness there's something lots of kids will recognise. A new kid decides you're the one to pick on, and your best friend laughs along. Barry wants to fit back in so badly that he tries to become someone else. Who hasn't wished they could change something about themselves overnight?

What to read next

If Barry's big plans have them in stitches, try Tom Gates. He's making an Alien Scale Monster costume for book week, and last year's ended up covered in Christmas wrapping paper.