Frankie Best Hates Quests

Chris Smith's Frankie Best Hates Quests is a very funny fantasy for 9 year olds about a girl who wants Wi-Fi and gets a whole other world instead.

What happens

Frankie is twelve and her phone is basically her best friend. Her little brother Joel calls it "the precious" (in a hissy, croaky voice, to drive her mad). So when she's dumped at Grandad's for a week, the worst news isn't the cobwebs. It's the words NO SIGNAL.

Grandad doesn't know what Wi-Fi is. He doesn't own a telly. He also greets them in stripy pyjamas, waving a giant net, and keeps blaming strange thumps on a cat he admits he hasn't got.

Something is clearly going on. Mum is furious with him about a door he was meant to keep shut.

Here's the twist that makes Frankie's grumpiness so funny. Her parents invented Spingle's Quest, a game about an elf on a quest that everyone loved four years ago. Then she started secondary school, and suddenly elves were the lamest thing ever. So she's sworn off magic, maps and anything wizardy for good.

Which is a shame, because Grandad's attic has a map of a land called Parallelia. And a big old mirror that swings open when she jokingly tells it to. Behind it is a moonlit wood full of owls that actually glow.

Frankie's journal entries are a joy. She's very dramatic (she's convinced she'll die of boredom within the week) and very sharp. Joel is just as good, eight years old and taking everything literally. Their bickering feels SO real.

Under the jokes there's something softer. Frankie misses the things she used to love, and she's a bit sad about letting them go. Plenty of kids will know that feeling of dropping something because everyone else suddenly thinks it's babyish.

If you've got a reader who rolls their eyes at fairy tales but secretly loves a portal, this is perfect. And if they're glued to a screen, they might just recognise themselves.

What to read next

For another fierce girl who refuses to believe what's happening in her own house, try The Train to Impossible Places. Suzy loves physics, so when a troll train comes thundering through the front hall she has a LOT of questions.