Fing

David Walliams' Fing is a very silly story for 7 year olds about a girl who already has EVERYTHING and still wants more.

What happens

Myrtle's first ever word was "more". She said it on the day she was born. Her parents are both shy, gentle librarians who wouldn't say boo to a goose, and they have never once told her no.

So Myrtle's bedroom is stuffed to the ceiling. She owns something for every letter of the alphabet, from an ant farm to a jar of zebra dung (yes, really). She eats chocolate for breakfast, lunch and dinner. She makes her parents carry her to school.

Then one morning, over a giant bowl of chocolate ice cream, Myrtle demands a FING. Nobody knows what a FING is. Not even Myrtle.

Poor Mr and Mrs Meek search every book in their library. At last, down in the forbidden vaults, they find a dusty old book of monsters, and there it is. A FING is a furry ball with one eye and a hole on each side. One hole is its mouth and the other is its bottom, and nobody can tell which is which. It loves custard creams. It's also greedy, rude and might eat you.

Of course, Myrtle wants one as a pet. So off Mr Meek goes, in his socks and sandals, to the jungliest jungle in the world.

This is Walliams at his most daft. Myrtle is an absolute HORROR, and it's very funny watching her boss her poor parents about. They're so polite they can't even agree who should go down the cellar steps first! There are lists of ridiculous presents and a whole jungle of made-up animals too. Who wouldn't want to meet a purplephant?

Be warned, the jokes get very rude. Myrtle boots her mum up the bottom, throws chocolate mousse at her dad and announces she can barely hear herself blow off. There's a LOT of poo. If your reader thinks that's the funniest thing in the world (and plenty of seven year olds do!), they'll be in heaven. If you'd rather something gentler, this probably isn't the one.

What to read next

If this one's a hit and they fancy another child who has far more than anyone needs, try Billionaire Boy. Joe Spud's dad can buy him anything at all, from a rollercoaster to a real shark in a tank. What Joe hasn't got is a single friend.