Express Train to Trouble

Robert Quackenbush's Express Train to Trouble is a very short mystery for 5 year olds, solved by a duck detective who keeps her kit in a knitting bag.

What happens

Miss Mallard is on the Nile Express, on holiday, and breakfast has descended into chaos. There's vinegar in Sir Reginald Baldpate's tea. A trick glass has emptied orange juice down Lady Teal's dress, the one with the diamond buttons.

George Ruddy Duck again. He's been at it all week.

Later there's a camel ride to the pyramids, which would be lovely if somebody hadn't put salt in everyone's water and a whoopee cushion under Sir Reginald. You'll pay for this, Ruddy Duck, says Sir Reginald. Everybody heard him say it.

That night Miss Mallard is woken three times by knocking on the compartment next door. Shouting. A door slamming. Then, at midnight, one muffled thud and nothing at all.

In the morning Ruddy Duck's compartment is a mess and Ruddy Duck is gone.

So out comes the magnifying glass, and Miss Mallard finds a striped necktie that isn't his, a diamond button that certainly isn't his, and a date book with a page torn out. Hold the next page up to the light and you can just read what was pressed through. MEET THE FAKER AT MIDNIGHT.

So who wanted him out of the way? Everybody on that train, more or less, which is exactly the point.

Every character is a duck, by the way, and every name is a joke waiting for someone to notice. Lady Teal. Professor Bufflehead. Sir Reginald Baldpate. A grown-up reading aloud will spot them all long before the child does, which is half the pleasure.

There are five chapters and the whole story runs under three thousand words. So this is a proper whodunnit at a length a five year old can hold in their head, with a clue they can actually work out for themselves.

Nobody is hurt in front of you. There's a moment where Miss Mallard says she hopes Ruddy Duck isn't a dead duck, which is a joke, and the tone stays silly throughout.

What to read next

If your reader takes to the ducktective, Stairway to Doom is in the library as well. That one puts Miss Mallard in a Scottish castle for the reading of a will, with a thunderstorm outside, relatives going missing and a warning about someone called Kisscula.