Eating Things on Sticks

Anne Fine's Eating Things on Sticks is a laugh-out-loud holiday story for 9 year olds about a boy stranded for a week on the soggiest island imaginable.

What happens

Harry has burned the kitchen to a crisp. (A tea towel on the grill, toast forgotten. It was an accident!) While the builders are in, Mum plans to send him to Aunt Susan's, with her nature walks and his frilly cousin Titania singing "thweet little thongs".

So Harry does the sensible thing. He blackmails his Uncle Tristram.

Uncle Tristram is off on holiday with Morning Glory, the latest in a long line of girlfriends. She lives on a tiny island with one hill, no trees, and locals whose beards you could hide a sandwich in. Nobody can understand a word they say. And the ferry only goes back on Saturday.

Morning Glory is wonderful. She sits quietly "in the presence of the apple". She makes nettle pudding and catnip tea. She thanks her feet. When Harry moans about having no telly, she draws him one on the living room wall in charcoal (with a DVD player and a radio too, bless her).

Harry and his uncle survive on pork pies from the tiniest shop on the planet.

Anyone who's ever been dragged on a grown-up's idea of a lovely holiday will recognise Harry's pain. He's very polite to Morning Glory's face. What he's actually thinking comes out in the asides, and it's very funny indeed.

The book is told day by day, from Saturday to the big fair. There's a hunt for an angel called Dido on the hilltop. There's a meals-on-wheels round that turns into a tour of beards. And there are helicopters buzzing about overhead all week (have a think about Harry's rather dramatic phone call home and you might guess why).

You'll often be one step ahead of Harry, which is half the fun. He builds a little dam up the hill and doesn't tell a soul. Keep an eye on that stream.

Uncle Tristram swears when his phone goes in the sea, but we never hear the words. There's a bit of flirting between him and Morning Glory too, all very light.

What to read next

If they enjoy a narrator who insists none of it was his fault, The Diary of a Killer Cat is the perfect follow-on. It's Anne Fine again, also told day by day, by a cat called Tuffy who'd like everyone to stop making such a fuss about the dead bird.