Class Dismissed

Allan Woodrow's Class Dismissed is a school comedy for 8 year olds about a class that loses its teacher and decides not to mention it.

What happens

Ms Bryce has been teaching forever and she is done. She screams instead of talking. She sends children to the principal for taking apart a broken pencil sharpener.

Then a jar of vinegar goes into a model volcano, red goo spreads across the floor, and she steps backwards into it in her new shoes.

She picks up the phone, tells the office she is resigning, and walks out.

Here is the thing. Adam is in the office at that exact moment, on his own, because every grown-up is busy watching the principal wrestle with a blocked sink. So Adam answers the ringing phone and hears the same message.

Nobody else in the school knows. And the class votes, loudly, to keep it that way.

Five of them take turns telling you what happens next, and this is what makes the book so good. You get the same classroom five times over and it looks completely different each time.

Samantha is busy giving everyone fashion advice nobody asked for. Adam doodles hearts on his desk and lives in hope that Lizzie noticed. Kyle is delighted and can't say a word to anyone, which is agony.

Eric sits quietly at the back and writes stories, and is fairly sure the whole thing will end in disaster. Maggie, who has her life planned out on a spreadsheet, answers the class phone doing an impression of Ms Bryce and finds she rather likes being in charge.

The funny bits are very funny. The home bits sneak up on you. Kyle burns a pizza with the plastic still on it and gets shouted at by a mum with four other children to manage, and you understand why school feels easier to him than home does.

Worth knowing before you hand it over

Worth knowing that Brian, the biggest boy, keeps everyone in line by cracking his knuckles and waving a filthy sock that the class has to swear on. The book knows this is horrible. Eric remembers a boy who refused to kiss it, got called Smelly Sock Scott for a year and then moved away, and he says plainly that it doesn't feel right.

If your child is quick to spot that sort of thing, it's a good one to talk about. If they just want the giggle of a classroom with no rules, that's here in bucketloads.

What to read next

If they finish it and want more of the same school, Unschooled is in the library too. Same principal, same year group, and two best friends who end up captaining rival teams for Spirit Week.