Em Lynas’s third Witch School book is a gloriously over-the-top comedy for 9 year olds about a Shakespearean actress who’d much rather be on stage than unhexing the school toilets.<\/p>\n
Our leading lady is playing Bottom (donkey’s head and all) in A Midsummer Night’s Dream, touring schools with her old drama group. Tonight is the very last show, in a real theatre with real curtains. It should be the best night of her life.<\/p>\n
There’s a problem. At the last performance, strict Ms Thorn sat in the audience and gave her a look from The Book of Disapproval and Criticism. She forgot every single line. And Ms Thorn will be watching again at this afternoon’s dress rehearsal.<\/p>\n
So she comes up with Plan A. She will train Ms Thorn to smile! Lots of smiles, just the right size, until Ms Thorn has to smile back. What could go wrong?<\/p>\n
Quite a lot, as it happens. The toilets have been hexed and keep gushing icy water up to the ceiling. Tiny statues of her keep dropping on her head from nowhere. The whole school is crumbling and could fall down at any moment. And her thumb has started sprouting twigs, then a whole branch, right in the middle of breakfast!<\/p>\n
The title (Help! I’m Trapped at Witch School!) is exactly how she feels about all of it.<\/p>\n
It’s told in the present tense by a narrator who is VERY dramatic about everything. She says “ac-chew-ally”. She has a Walk of Obedience, a Smile of Sincerity and a look from a different imaginary book for every occasion. Her friends Jess and Shalini keep her going, and the snooty Dominique and Arwen are always ready with a “tsk”.<\/p>\n
Honestly, who hasn’t tried to win over a grumpy teacher by being extra good? It’s very funny and very relatable, and there’s real magic mixed in with the silliness. The spells rhyme, the school cats doze in the roots of a magic tree, and pies are paid for in ticks.<\/p>\n
The only worries here are a crumbling building and some creepy old dolls on a wall. If you’ve got a theatrical child who loves an audience, they’ll probably recognise themselves.<\/p>\n
The story picks up straight after the first two books and leans on them a lot, so it’s best read in order. Start with You Can’t Make Me Go To Witch School, where a furious young actress gets left at the door of Toadspit Towers by her granny.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Em Lynas’s third Witch School book is a gloriously over-the-top comedy for 9 year olds about a Shakespearean actress who’d much rather be on stage than unhexing the school toilets. Our leading lady is playing Bottom (donkey’s head and all) in A Midsummer Night’s Dream, touring schools with her old drama group. Tonight is the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"featured_media":12843,"template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"lr_next_read_post_id":9806,"lr_next_read_anchor":"You Can't Make Me Go To Witch School","lr_seo_hook":"Hexed toilets, a sprouting thumb and one very important Shakespeare show."},"book_tag":[1047],"age_group":[24],"book_type":[1044],"book_author":[300],"class_list":["post-7636","our-books","type-our-books","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","book_tag-magic-books","age_group-books-for-9-year-olds","book_type-paid","book_author-em-lynas"],"yoast_title":"Help! I’m Trapped at Witch School! by Em Lynas | Little Reads","yoast_metadesc":"Hexed toilets, a sprouting thumb and one very important Shakespeare show. For ages 9+. 3,000+ books in the Little Reads app. 7-day free trial.","acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n